I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just gift wrapped bread.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
