so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
