dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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