He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
