He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
