right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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