What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
