i think my mom watched the whole time
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize