What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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