if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
