We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize