He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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