she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
