Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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