Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I want her autograph on my taint
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
