Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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