You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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