What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
