You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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