I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
