look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
