remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
