Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
