Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize