Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
