honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
