Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
