Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
