My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
