pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
