It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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