my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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