people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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