i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
