no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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