Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
