Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
