uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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