oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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