I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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