pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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