What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
