he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
