I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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