Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

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(330): View more from Ohio

So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.

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(407): View more from Florida

Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.

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(703): View more from Virginia

See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.

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