Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
