how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
