shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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