So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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