On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
