His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
