His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
