Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
