Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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