Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
