can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
