I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
