They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
