dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
