make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
