I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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