Will you blow on my dice?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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