I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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