i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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