what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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