Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
