I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
