That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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