She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
